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a Firstborn Child

#1 Lesson : 

We all have our moments. So do not get upset when someone is faster than you. 


There are a lot of stages of life, from you are born until your time to leave. Not so long ago, I have just graduated. Some pages of my story have been filled with much joy, happiness, laughter, and love. Sometimes, sadness and remorse are meant to exist. In yours too. We simply learn from what we are all going through and eventually we will grow, become so much more than now. Graduated at 21 years old is just a common thing. On the other hand, my sister finished her bachelor’s degree in her twenty at the same time as me. 


From there, so many things gradually change. Fastly, she has joined a company that my father owns. Small talks that happened, comments, and jokes are just related to their works’ surroundings. I feel left out. At the time, thinking if I am not choosing this major, I shall join the company too. This kind of destiny somehow making me think less of myself. Insecurities. I am happy for my sister, though I looked at myself as a failure, who can’t become a good role model for her. 


I cried at night, from the last gathering of my father’s company (note: I joined in because my mother came too). The workers are just the same age as me, and here I am. Clinging to my parents’ kindhearted soul. Not making any money, got asked why not participate just like my sister does, and must study again to get accepted on the apothecary program at the same university. 


Being thought to be more and more as a firstborn child, something in me starts to hate this part of the story. Shall I ask, but who will answer? People can plan and predict, but none of them will answer the future correctly. Maybe, I did not enjoy this part of my story but, I know this is one of the paths I should endure and win. To keep being patient and wait, believing for what will happen is always happen in better ways than I have planned for myself. Do not forget to try your best. 




"Being the firstborn child, middle, or last is not something you can choose.

Sometimes, you feel less just because you start doubting yourself.

Start to look at someone else’s more as your motivation.

Just like me looking up to my little sister"



Cheers for our next journey, 

Bismillah.
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